One of the most common issues I encounter when coaching writers is what I call “the rushed climax syndrome.” You’ve spent hundreds of pages building toward a critical moment—the attack, the confrontation, the revelation—and then it’s over in a paragraph or two. The reader, who has invested hours in your story, feels cheated rather than satisfied.
When Time Should Slow Down
In real life, pivotal moments often happen quickly. The car accident takes seconds. The gunshot is instantaneous. The revelation comes in a single sentence. But in fiction, the most important rule isn’t realism—it’s emotional impact.
As Lee Child is noted for saying: “Make the slow stuff fast and the fast stuff slow.”
During a recent coaching session with a thriller writer, we examined scenes involving a coordinated terrorist attack that represented the climactic threat her protagonist had been working to prevent throughout the entire novel. On the page, the terrorists drove into the city, attacked the U.S. embassy, set it on fire, and were back in their cars—all within about three pages.
“I have an idea that this is all a big deal,” I told her, “but it’s not on the page. YET.”
The Paradox of Fictional Time
Here’s the paradox: the more important a moment is to your story, the more page time it should occupy—even if the actual event would be brief in real life.
This isn’t about padding your manuscript. It’s about creating what psychologists call “temporal expansion”—the sensation that time is slowing down during intense experiences. We’ve all felt this: the moment before a car crash when seconds seem to stretch, or the heightened awareness during a confrontation where you notice every detail.
Your goal as a writer is to recreate this experience for your reader.
Breaking Down the Big Moment: The Beehive Approach
How do you expand a brief event into a satisfying sequence? I recommend what I call “the beehive approach.” It’s based on the idea of a scene where your characters are literally in a beehive.
Back in my days of brick and mortar classrooms, I would proceed to draw a beehive on the board and then add a whole bunch of small dots that represented the bees.
I’ll spare you the rudimentary rendition here.
Then I would ask: “What if your characters are in the beehive for thirty seconds? How tense is that?”
Answer: a little tense, not that much.
“Now, what if they are in the beehive for FIVE MINUTES?”
I’d add more bees on the board and ask, “Wouldn’t you be much more worried about them getting stung? Can you see where the tension naturally escalates?”
THAT is the beehive technique. You raise the tension by keeping your characters in the beehive for longer. The characters can feel it!
Movie Reference: The Basement Stairs
It’s like that scene in the horror movie where the character has to go check the boiler. Does it happen off screen? Is it a fast thing?
No, it plays out very slowly, with intense music, and maybe even involves a cat jumping out at some point to make the viewers think the character is in the clear.
And then… BAM! The killer/monster/bad guy pops out. Climactic moment ensues.
Slowing It Down — Separate the Steps
To give your action sequence more room on the page, break it up into its parts. Give each step some recognition so you make a chronology that the reader follows—even imagines taking place in the movie in their mind.
Example: Instead of:
The terrorists drove into the city, attacked the embassy, and blew it up before escaping back across the border.
Consider:
- Initial approach (with environmental details, character reactions)
- First resistance encountered (security response, complications)
- Escalation (something goes wrong or gets worse)
- Desperate measures (a new approach or last-ditch effort)
- Resolution (success, partial success, or failure with consequences)
Each of these can be a scene or even a chapter, depending on the importance of the moment to your overall story.
Real-World Example: From One Chapter to Three Chapters
In my coaching session, I encouraged the writer to expand her embassy attack sequence from one short chapter to at least three longer ones:
Chapter 1: The Approach
- Terrorists navigating through city checkpoints
- Heroes realizing the threat is imminent
- Initial attempts to alert authorities
- Environmental details (traffic, weather, civilian presence)
- Stakes clearly established (What happens if they succeed?)
Chapter 2: First Contact
- Embassy security responds to initial threat
- Multiple response teams mobilizing
- Communication challenges between agencies
- Terrorists adapt their plan as resistance mounts
- Escalating time pressure as backup arrives
Chapter 3: Final Confrontation
- Desperate attempts to breach embassy defenses
- Heroes arrive for final intervention
- Terrorists’ backup plan revealed
- Climactic face-off with clear winner/loser
- Immediate aftermath and consequences
By expanding this sequence, the writer gives the reader what they’ve been waiting for—a substantial payoff for all the build-up. The tension doesn’t just spike briefly; it sustains, building to a satisfying climax.
How to Know What Deserves Expansion
Not every scene needs this treatment. Here’s how to identify moments that deserve more page time:
- Story promises: What has your narrative been building toward?
- Reader investment: What will readers be most eager to experience?
- Character transformation: When do your characters face their greatest challenges or changes?
- Thematic fulfillment: Where does your story’s central theme come to fruition?
These are the moments to slow down, expand, and dramatize fully.
Techniques for Expanding Critical Moments
Here are practical techniques for giving big moments the space they deserve:
- Multiple Viewpoints
Show the same event from different perspectives to add dimensionality and extend the experience.
- Sensory Immersion
Include all five senses to create a vivid, immersive experience that takes time to process.
- Meaningful Dialogue
Let characters express fears, hopes, and plans during the action—not just before or after.
- Physical Choreography
Break down physical movements into distinct steps, showing how bodies move through space.
- Internal Reaction
Balance external action with internal processing—what the character thinks or feels as events unfold.
- Environmental Interaction
Show how the setting impacts the action and how characters interact with their environment.
- Complications
Introduce obstacles that must be overcome, creating mini-arcs within the larger scene.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
When expanding big moments, be wary of these pitfalls:
Repetition vs. Development: Don’t just say the same thing in different ways. Each beat should advance the action or deepen the experience.
Technical Overload: Especially in thrillers, it’s easy to get lost in technical details. Remember that emotional impact matters more than technical accuracy.
Losing Momentum: Even as you slow down time, maintain forward movement. Don’t let description or internal monologue stall the action completely.
Artificial Delays: Don’t force characters to make obviously stupid choices just to extend the sequence.
The Reader-Writer Contract
Remember, your readers have made an investment in your story. They’ve followed your characters for hundreds of pages, waiting for these pivotal moments. When you rush through them, you’re breaking an implicit contract.
Give your big moments the space they deserve. Let them breathe, develop, and fulfill their dramatic potential. Your readers will thank you with that most precious of all responses: they won’t be able to put your book down.
Need help giving your story’s big moments the page space they deserve? My one-on-one coaching can help you identify where to expand, how to maintain tension, and when to resolve. Contact me for a consultation.
