The breakthrough that changes everything about “show, don’t tell.”
“They shouldn’t call it show, don’t tell,” my client said during our recent session. “They should call it scene, don’t tell.”
He’d just had a major breakthrough. After struggling for two years with his opening chapter—constantly listing information instead of letting readers experience his story—something had finally clicked.
“You know, ‘show?’ What is showing? You’ve got to be in a scene to show somebody. So… that! Really, when I made that connection, that show really means scene, that locked it in for me!”
This insight transformed his writing overnight.
The Problem with “Show, Don’t Tell”
Most writers know they’re supposed to “show, don’t tell.”
It’s probably the most repeated piece of writing advice out there. But what does “showing” actually mean?
The advice is maddeningly vague. Writers end up adding descriptive details or sensory information, thinking that’s “showing.” But often they’re still just telling—with more words.
My client had been stuck in this exact trap. His original chapter was essentially “a list of information”—exposition about his special forces team, their mission, their equipment. He knew it wasn’t working, but he couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
Then came his breakthrough: You have to be IN scene to show.
What “Scene” Actually Means
A scene isn’t just description or dialogue. It’s a specific moment in time and place where something happens. Your characters are doing things, saying things, experiencing things in real time.
Here’s how my client’s thinking evolved:
Original approach: “I was just trying to get everything I wanted that chapter to say on the page. And some of that was just listing the information. I just kept it as a list instead of turning it into a scene.”
New approach: “Campanelli’s in a tank with another person, there’s a tank in front of him with two people in it, and then there’s ten cargo trucks. He looks and sees the ten cargo trucks with two soldiers per truck. So now I’m still in the scene, but now the reader knows how big the team is if they do a little math in their head.”
Same information. Completely different experience for the reader.
The Tank Exercise That Changed Everything
Instead of telling readers about a 24-man special forces team, my client put us inside the tank with Campanelli. We experience the convoy through the character’s eyes:
- He feels the tank moving
- He sees the trucks ahead and behind
- He counts the vehicles
- He notices the other soldiers
The reader gets all the same information—team size, equipment, mission context—but discovers it through the character’s direct experience. No exposition dump required.
“That exercise right there really helped me a lot,” he said. “That’s more fun to write than a list of information.”
Why Being “In Scene” Works
When you commit to staying in scene, several things happen automatically:
- Information becomes discovery. Instead of being told facts, readers discover them alongside your characters.
- Pacing becomes natural. You can’t rush through a scene the way you can rush through exposition. Things take the time they take.
- Stakes feel real. When characters are doing things in real time, their challenges and conflicts feel immediate.
- Details matter. Only the details your character would actually notice in that moment make it onto the page.
The Discipline of Scene
Staying in scene requires discipline. It’s easier to write “The team consisted of 24 highly trained soldiers” than to show Campanelli counting vehicles and doing the math.
But that discipline pays off. As my client discovered: “I like staying in the scene. That’s more fun to write than a list of information.”
When writing becomes more fun for you, it becomes more engaging for readers.
Scene vs. Summary: Knowing the Difference
Not everything needs to be in scene. Sometimes summary is the right choice. But you need to choose consciously.
Use scene when:
- Something important is happening
- You want readers to feel present
- Character development is occurring
- Tension is building
Use summary when:
- Covering long periods of time
- Conveying background information
- Transitioning between important moments
- The details aren’t crucial to the story
The key is recognizing when you’re avoiding scene because it’s harder work, versus when summary actually serves the story better.
How to Identify Missing Scenes
Here’s how to tell if you’re truly in scene:
Ask yourself: Could I film this moment?
If your paragraph reads like a list of facts or background information, you’re probably telling. If it reads like something a camera could capture—characters moving, speaking, interacting with their environment in a specific time and place—you’re in scene.
Example of telling: “Marcus was part of an elite unit that had been training for this mission for months. The operation was highly classified and extremely dangerous.”
Example of scene: “Marcus checked his weapon one final time as the transport approached the drop zone. Through the small window, he could see lights scattered across the valley below—each one a potential enemy position they’d studied in countless briefings.”
Same information, but in the second version, we’re with Marcus in a specific moment.
The Breakthrough Moment
My client’s “aha” moment came when he realized that scene work wasn’t just about following writing rules—it was about creating a better experience for both writer and reader.
“Stay in the scene and provide information in small packets versus just dumping it right there,” he explained. “I like it better that way. I like it better, only knowing what he’s up to at that moment.”
The mystery and discovery that comes from staying in scene makes writing more enjoyable and reading more compelling.
Transforming Summary Into Drama
Once you master staying in scene, other writing techniques become easier:
- Dialogue feels more natural because it’s happening in real time
- Character development occurs through action rather than description
- Pacing becomes something you can control and vary
- Tension builds organically through what’s happening
Scene work is foundational. It’s not an advanced technique—it’s the base layer that makes everything else possible.
The Simple Truth
“Show, don’t tell” isn’t about adding sensory details or finding fancier ways to describe things. It’s about committing to scene—putting your readers in a specific time and place where they can experience your story directly.
As my client discovered: “You got to be in a scene to show somebody.”
The advice isn’t “describe, don’t tell” or “use metaphors, don’t tell.”
It’s scene, don’t tell.
Once you understand that distinction, everything else becomes clearer.
What’s your experience with staying in scene versus telling? Have you noticed how it affects your enjoyment of the writing process?
If you want more of my teaching on Scene and “Show, Don’t Tell,” check out my course here: https://writewithseth.com/show-dont-tell/
