Often when I first start working with a client they come to me with prose that’s rushed, barely dramatized, so many things happening on a given page that I can’t see the action. I can’t see the scenes because there are so many actions happening in different places, different times, multiple settings.
The story’s chronology is fast.
Once we get going and talking about what’s there, the same answer often comes up: “I didn’t want my reader to get bored.”
There it is: fear.
Sometimes it’s the fear of boring the reader, others it’s fear of using the same sentence construction too often (too many subject / verb starters), other times it’s something else. But these first two come up most often.
Are these fears driving the way you write? One way to test for the first one, prose that’s so fast a reader can’t see the characters or the scenes, is to count the verbs in each sentence. Just look at a single page, preferably not one that’s dialogue-heavy, and count the number of verbs.
Do you have multiple sentences with three and four verbs? Any that have more than four? If so, it’s a good indicator that you may be rushing.
Now try this with a page from your favorite writer. What do you find? My bet is that the published work averages fewer verbs per sentence than a fear-driven first draft.
That’s ok! You’re not reading the first draft in your favorite book. Far from it. So take a breath, know that you’ve just learned a good tip for revision. Now take another breath, even three before you sit down to write.
Focus on seeing your characters in a place while you write. See the characters in your mind, listen to what they’re saying. Narrate this with physical actions, descriptions with movements in them, and use dialogue. See what happens!
I bet it’ll make a big difference! Keep slowing down. Keep steering away from that fear.
